when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Randomize
