whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
