dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
