It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
