i think i have herpe
just one?
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize