You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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