i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Randomize
