just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
