i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
