No more Irish car bombs ever.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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