I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Randomize
