im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Randomize
