What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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