i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize