her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Randomize
