also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
