Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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