we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
