I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
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