do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
