My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize