i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
