...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
North Korea, Best Korea!
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
