This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
