It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
