im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
