About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
