idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
