I love black thongs
I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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