So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
