Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
