i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
