I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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