and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize
