Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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