so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Sacagawea was the original milf.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
