i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
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