either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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