I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
