would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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