I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
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