His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Just high enough for therapy.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
