fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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