Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
