Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
