in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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