My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
