I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
