So drunk, too bad you don't want this
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
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