okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
