i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
we should paint friendship bongs
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