Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Randomize
