dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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