Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
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