It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
