that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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