a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
