o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Randomize
