you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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