Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Why is your signature on my underwear?
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize