Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Hello my rib-scented angel!
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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