I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Randomize