There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
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